Last night I realized the true power of God. I was sitting in my dorm and Zac and I were playing some PS2 and I was talking on facebook chat to some friends back home, and some that were leaving for college. Most of the kids I was talking to were from my church family back home. Zac and I were raised in an awesome community, and now it's gone. It happened in a few hours. I moved in and that was it. I'm on my own. It's like God is throwing me out on my own with only a few tools and seeing if I'll survive or not. All the friends, the awesome influences in the church community, and the regular attendance to services from my parents have disappeared.
Now it's up to me to fend for myself. I had always known that college would be different and a lot harder than high school, but not like this. I currently hang out with 3 guys I know for sure that don't drink. Three. As compared to my 30 to 40 back home. However I haven't been able to attend a church service in Kearney yet. Hopefully I can find some awesome kids here.
Another thing I have noticed here is how "desperate" some of the guys here are, and they're looking for one thing. It's not a relationship. For example, across the hall from me are 2 attractive girls and in the last hour there have been probably about 5 guys walk down the hall this way looking for them. Most of them don't say they're looking for them, but you can tell. Two guys came by at one point and were looking at their door and I said hey to them. They said, "oh well hi we're just walking around." I'm sure. By the way, our rooms are in the corners of our floor; one of the farthest spots from the floor lounge and elevators. My bed and desk are right by the door so I've been saying, "Yeah, they aren't here," too many times and am starting to get annoyed.
The last guy that came down here I said, "Yeah hey those girls aren't here they went out." He said, "oh well I wasn't looking for them what are you guys up to?" "Yeah okay, oh hey they aren't here." He left.
Right now I'm just praying that I find a group of non partying people, that know how to have fun. Real fun. The kind of fun that makes you smile because of the sole fact that there is a God. Getting hammered and waking up somewhere new every morning isn't fun. This is the "healthy lifestyle living" floor but so far it doesn't seem that much healthy living is taking place.
Pray for Zac and I please. We'll need it. Hopefully this is just back to school hype with the partying and drinking and everything. Then again...I'm not so sure.
1 Peter 5:10
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3 comments:
I will be praying for you Keygan. Some of the people will get better and won't drink all the time, but a lot of them will, even though you are on the "healty living" floor. I know that it is hard to find a good group of people to hang out with in college. You can be friends with the "partiers" but you don't have to go to parties with them! Who knows, if you are their friend, you will be the one they come to when everything else has fallen apart! Hang in there buddy! Just know that you can call me whenever you need to, 24/7! Love ya!
You'll get there, Keygan. I praise God for your resolve. He will supply what you need. Don't lose heart. You know you've got lots of people in your corner, lifting you and Zac up in prayer.
Love you,
Mom
Hey, man, I've just got to tell you that things will get better. Yeah, I know that I'm at a Christian school where no one is suppose to even think about beer slogans. Seriously though, all of the fun that I have ever had has been totally sober.
All of my experiences of being around drunk people (mostly when I was working at Subway, interestingly enough) has made me aware of one thing. Why do you think people drink to get drunk anyway? These are some of the reasons that I came up with: they want to make friends, they want to keep the friends they have, they want to see what it's like, they like the idea of rebeling, they think it's cool, they want to forget something, they want to not hurt so much (this is the short list). What's the point? I concluded that most people drank because they were searching for something, whether an experience, a relationship, or something else. They want something that will make them feel whole or complete. Keygan, you already have what they are searching for. You and Zac stick together. I'm proud of you both.
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